Handsome Pete's Last Ride

from Recluses Unite! by Al Duvall

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lyrics

Boys I made the circuit as a pest from the Yukon down to Key West
'Til I faced the guns of the Pinkertons and to them my capers I confessed They pinned some jobs on me I didn't do but a hobo's alibis are few
I was held by Sarge on a groundless charge in the 'lectric chair at San Berdoo
He said Handsome Pete come and cool your feet hop up on the barbecue stool
When they strapped me down to it I cried I can hold down any bumpy ride But when the switch was thrown I felt every bone get all dislocated up inside
I hadn't held a job since '89 now I'm the main conductor on the line
She's a cannonball but I made her stall when I blew the fuse with my spine They said Don't you fret we'll just get reset and you'll soon be gettin' where you're gwine
So they let this prisoner re-volt and that rattler took off with a jolt
Thought I beat the odds but when I rode those rods 'twas like I hopped a lightning bolt
They doubled up the juice but the straps burned loose and I ran round like a branded colt
Well by this time I was plenty sore and I started crawling for the door
They said Ease your head you'll be back on schedule just sit tight a little more
Well the third time always is a charm smoke was puffing out my head and arm
Boys that train was fast my whole life flew past on that third-rail express away from harm
Time to hop that one-man boxcar down a hole out by the prison farm